oh dark winter....
be as metal as you want, being without the sun makes people crazy.
i adore wisconsin, and i even enjoy winter, but come mid january through mid march...things get rough.
my sister and i were talking today about understanding why countries near the arctic circle have such high suicide rates.
not that we are considering offing ourselves, but well...you get it.
lately i have all the time in the world to get all my many potential projects done...yet i want to do nothing.
-no, that's not even true, i've got a bad case of the "fuckits".
there are a hundred things i want to do...but fuck it.
so what do i do all day? who knows, piss most of it away onlineor wander around my tiny city doing menial, grocery-related tasks.
essentially...nothing.
really, i'm still just pissed off about the slow death of my creativity. but instead i'll blame it on the weather.
whatever, i want some hot wings, i want a beer, and i want to watch the alien movies. followed by more movies where things blow up.
and then i want to go burn my sofa in the backyard.
perhaps tomorrow...lets burn the sofa.
maybe.
(is that legal?)
(do i care?)
wow.
i need a shower...
Friday, January 14, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
good riddance and embracing the unknown
well, we're four days into the new year. usually i've already written and ode to the past year, and a wish list for the new.
i think as they years go by it's my creativity and ambition that deteriorates the most, rather than my physical being (seeing as i still get carded in liquor stores).
so that hasn't happened.
i guess i could take the opportunity here and now, and maybe that'll help kick start my brain again.
2010, no offense, but i'm not going to really miss you.
between all the fighting (dog and human; physical and verbal), dumb alcoholic stunts, lack of financial stability and the understanding that some of the people you thought were awesome are really self-centered and weak, i could have been just as content sleeping through this expanse of time.
however, through hardship we are tested and forced to evolve. to learn.
and without this bullshit john and i would not have anywhere near as strong a relationship as we do.
2010 also gave us grimm, who is pretty cool.
and it reminded me that the friends i really really love never disappoint. (and despite the little time i get to spend time with you these days, just knowing you exist saves my sanity daily)
i also got a super dose of family, which, without them, i would simply fail at life. they are my hammock, my safety net, and without them i would never be able to venture upward.
my family rocks.
my friends rock
my lover rocks.
and my dogs are awesome. (the cats, however...)
so that's what 2010 gave me. a big pile of shit, but some really solid rocks.
next year...well, who knows.
i get married, which is kind of big. we have nothing planned, of course, because it's me. we had a solid plan, but then changed our minds. so we'll see what happens with that.
i really want to get back into photography. i need a website, bad, and that's my big hang-up at the moment. and i'm thinking of getting a new camera. and a cheap or used laptop. but again, who knows.
it's a way to make some money that i actually like. and i'm decent at it. so why not?
i'm probably going back to school. at least to take some art classes. maybe something involving books and words...
i just don't know...with my financial situation everything is really a mystery. anything could happen.
it's kind of scary...but kind of exciting.
but what can you do, right? this is life.
raw
unsafe
unpredictable.
this is what it's about.
i think as they years go by it's my creativity and ambition that deteriorates the most, rather than my physical being (seeing as i still get carded in liquor stores).
so that hasn't happened.
i guess i could take the opportunity here and now, and maybe that'll help kick start my brain again.
2010, no offense, but i'm not going to really miss you.
between all the fighting (dog and human; physical and verbal), dumb alcoholic stunts, lack of financial stability and the understanding that some of the people you thought were awesome are really self-centered and weak, i could have been just as content sleeping through this expanse of time.
however, through hardship we are tested and forced to evolve. to learn.
and without this bullshit john and i would not have anywhere near as strong a relationship as we do.
2010 also gave us grimm, who is pretty cool.
and it reminded me that the friends i really really love never disappoint. (and despite the little time i get to spend time with you these days, just knowing you exist saves my sanity daily)
i also got a super dose of family, which, without them, i would simply fail at life. they are my hammock, my safety net, and without them i would never be able to venture upward.
my family rocks.
my friends rock
my lover rocks.
and my dogs are awesome. (the cats, however...)
so that's what 2010 gave me. a big pile of shit, but some really solid rocks.
next year...well, who knows.
i get married, which is kind of big. we have nothing planned, of course, because it's me. we had a solid plan, but then changed our minds. so we'll see what happens with that.
i really want to get back into photography. i need a website, bad, and that's my big hang-up at the moment. and i'm thinking of getting a new camera. and a cheap or used laptop. but again, who knows.
it's a way to make some money that i actually like. and i'm decent at it. so why not?
i'm probably going back to school. at least to take some art classes. maybe something involving books and words...
i just don't know...with my financial situation everything is really a mystery. anything could happen.
it's kind of scary...but kind of exciting.
but what can you do, right? this is life.
raw
unsafe
unpredictable.
this is what it's about.
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