my feet are bare, but not terribly dirty.
and i think that's the problem.
i need dirt on the bottoms of my feet.
i need physical proof that i have been up so something moderately scandalous.
i need to get the fuck out of rhinelander for a day...or a couple days.
i need to feed my head with a taste of something different.
my devotion to my beloved wisconsin northwoods is deep and true...
...but sometimes i need a sip of the city.
i need to escape the purity predictability of the woods and water
and shuffle around in human filth and development and madness.
i want to not have to use my brain to find something interesting to do with myself, i want to just walk around a corner and be entertained, fulfilled.
i blame this long, drawn out season.
it's a deadlock time; not spring, not winter.
and i'm feeling stagnant....still.
luckily, in a couple days i will be in minneapolis's concrete embrace
(and i can finally quell my insatiable cravings for a vegan cupcake form the wedge!)
and the week after that, milwaukee.
winter has deprived me of the light i require, so now i'm going to revel in their sweet florescent's, incandescents, halogens and LEDs
and partake in the madness of humanity.
right now (and perhaps it's a simple as an emerging from some sort of soul hibernation) i just want to be around people and people-made things.
-i'm sure i'll get over it soon enough.
perhaps just in time to go hide in he woods all summer.
it's probably good that i'm feeling this way; i've got a pretty full plate this month:
photo gigs,
two road trips,
a friend's (whom i haven't seen in years) show to attend...
i'd probably never manage it in my normal, semi-hermitic state..
maybe it's my subconscious prepping me for social survival.
yay for the brain that fools me!
ugh.
a friend of mine just summed it up:
"the winter doldrums...
at least bears and shit hibernate..
wake up in the spring and go right back to fucking in the bushes like nothing happened.
lucky fuckers"
lucky indeed, my friend,
lucky indeed.
